I'm sure we have all heard of the word narcissist, it's a word that frequently gets thrown around in everyday life without stopping to think about what it actually means. It often gets used in place of words like "toxic", "abusive", "self absorbed" or just simply "unpleasant", but what most people don't realise is that being a narcissist or more accurately having narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) is actually a mental health condition. While narcissism itself is a spectrum and everyone is bound to have some form of narcissistic traits, people with NPD fall on the "extreme" side of these traits, in this post I will explain the characteristics of NPD, the actual definition of such and other relevant information to bring awareness to this condition to show it's a lot more than just a societal buzzword.
What is NPD?
NPD is 1 of the 4 cluster B personality types, among borderline, anti-social and histrionic personality disorder, these 4 are grouped together as they are marked by "inappropriate and volatile emotionality and often unpredictable behaviour". The DSM diagnostic criteria Characterises NPD as "a pervasive pattern of grandiosity, a need for admiration and lack of empathy, beginning by early adulthood and present in a variety of context".
Characteristics and behaviours of NPD:
I want to show both the characteristics within the DSM that are used to diagnose someone with NPD as well as behaviours described by people living with NPD. A little disclaimer, this list is not for self diagnosis, it's simply to spread awareness and education. If this list matches you're behaviour and you believe that you may have this condition please seek professional advice instead of self diagnosing, it is also not here for individuals to try to diagnose others.
DSM characteristics:
- Grandiose sense of self importance, this can manifest in behaviours like over-exaggerating their achievements or talents this trait also links very closely with most of the others
- Is preoccupied with fantasies of unlimited power, success, brilliance, beauty or ideal love, this can appear through things like fantasies of being famous, having a big successful business or earning something like the Nobel peace prize.
- Believes that he or she is "special" and unique, so much so that they can only be understood by or associate with, other special or high status people/institutions
- Requires excessive admiration, people with NPD want to be liked and respected by people but in a sense that is a lot more heightened than a person without NPD.
- Has a sense of entitlement, they want unrealistic expectations in situations while also expecting people to automatically comply with these expectations, because of this sense of they are "special and unique."
- Is interpersonally exploitative, this basically means that the person will take advantage of others in order to gain things for themselves, a lot of the time if not all the time without a care of the affects on the person they are using.
- Lacks empathy, they are unwilling to identify or understand other's feelings and needs. This links into the interpersonally exploitative, when they take advantage of others there's no empathy there for the person and some of the time the narcissist won't feel remorseful for doing this to the person.
- Is often envious of others or believes that others are envious of him/her
- shows arrogant, haughty behaviours or attitudes, this can manifest in behaviours such as having a big attitude and acting like they are superior and better than others around them. They can also be prideful and overbearing
Although a lot of these behaviours are negative and can in some ways be abusive, not every person with NPD is a bad abusive person, if a narcissist is self aware and gets the help and support, they need through things like therapy it is very possible for them to change and change these negative behaviours. I think this is part of the stigma, a lot of people believe that if someone is a narcissist they are automatically bad and it's impossible for them to change. It's important for people to understand that a lot of narcissists end up with this condition because of trauma and things they have been through. This concept has always intrigued me, why is it other conditions like depression and PTSD are more widely accepted and less stigmatised even though they most often are caused by trauma as well. To me it seems like this entire issue comes down to a lack of education and understanding.
"it's just a word, there's no harm", the actual harms of misusing the word "Narcissist"
By misusing the word "narcissist" it's building a bigger stigma around the condition that already faces a lot of stigma from people's lack of understanding of the actual condition. As well as this you are also minimising a very serious and complex mental health condition that people live with and around on a daily basis, mental health conditions in general are serious and should be treated as such not just a buzzword to be thrown around. Calling everyone you know who is unpleasant or selfish a narcissist, you are negating the abuse suffered by people at the hands of a toxic narcissist and minimising the effects of the abuse.
Conclusion
Overall narcissist is a mental health condition that people live with on a daily basis, and should be treated as such unlike how its treated now, if you wouldn't throw something like depression round often as an insult why should NPD be treated as any different? More needs to be done to increase awareness around mental health in general but specifically conditions like NPD that are known to be displayed in movies and such in a negative, unrealistic way. If you want to learn more about NPD there's plenty of places online that you can look, I would personally recommend the mind website as well as a tiktok creator called kylee Rackam, their content is great and very informative on NPD as well as BPD and what the reality of living with these conditions is.
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